Wednesday, September 11, 2013

One week 3 days old

Written September 11, 2013 11:34pm
Sorry for the delayed update - Evan had a bit of a rough day.

I got to the hospital a little later than usual today so I missed rounds. I spent the rest of the day feeling out of the loop. Guess I gotta get my butt out of bed earlier!

After waiting all day, we returned to the hospital tonight to find out that the echo results (from that morning's test) showed the PDA had closed and that another round of Indocin would not be needed. Woot!

I noticed at one of his diaper changes this morning that his belly button nub fell off. Does this mean he's no longer a newborn??

As I mentioned above, Evan had a rough day. We know that he's going to have ups and downs and that we've been extremely lucky up to this point. All day his stats were kind of all over the board. He's usually pretty stable unless he's on his back (he loves being a frog on his belly). I ended up cupping him (one hand on his head, the other on his bottom) for about 40 minutes today. It seemed to help keep his stats nice and level (either that or his sedation had kicked in - I'm going with the mother's touch). Every time I told him I needed to leave, his stats would dip. One of the other nurses in the room said we needed to trick him into thinking I was still there. Using a few weighted pillows, I was able to slip out.

When Andrew and I returned this evening, Evan's blood gasses had gotten a little worse. The doctors made the decision to move him off the conventional vent and put him back on the oscillating vent. Evan's our little jello jiggler again. (Just a refresh - the oscillating vent is much gentler on Evan's lungs. He does require a little more sedation as the ventilator needs to do all his breathing for him. We don't want him fighting the ventilator.) They will take another blood sample in the morning. Today's bad day may be related to a lung infection that will hopefully be treated with antibiotics.

Witnessing our baby go through a bad day is horrible. To just sit by his side and not be able to help or do anything is indescribable. I'm sure Evan's had other bad moments, we just weren't there to witness them. To see the respiratory team, the on-call doctor and his nurse all looking worried, is scary. I wish he didn't have to go through all of this - what a crappy introduction to life.

Andrew should be getting home soon. He called as he left the hospital to say that the last gas check showed great improvement. As long as Evan is left alone, he is a happy camper.

I'm going to focus on the positives from today: he grew up a little with the loss of his belly button nub and he doesn't have to go on Indocin again (at least for the time being). I'm also going to replay those 40 minutes of holding him over and over in my head. Even now, after a crummy night of watching him get poked and prodded, I can smile because I got to touch him and be a mother to him. Even if only for a short while.

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